Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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