i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
