i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Quick, to the slutcave!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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