Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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