I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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