Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
