Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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