My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
