And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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