Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
