How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
