That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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