can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
