4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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