She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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