i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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