Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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