Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
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When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.