Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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