listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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