need another drink. this is the easiest way
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
