I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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