...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hippo gnu deer
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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