Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
