Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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