It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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