I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
