I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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