what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
