I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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