Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
