she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
