Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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