So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
