you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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