Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i jhust puked up my retainher.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
