I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
