My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
