There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
