i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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