Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
