I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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