Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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