sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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