I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
