sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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