i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
