there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
