Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Is Oprah even human
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
