it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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