just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My bed smells like the plague
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
