Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize