After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Randomize
