we should wear snuggies to the strip club
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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