and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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