Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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